A Coffee TV Review - The Man With 1000 Kids

An absolutely puzzling documentary about a man who decided to have as many kids as possible.


I am going to be honest with you. I went into this thinking it was a parody or satire. I did not expect it to be a REAL documentary for very REAL things that happened quite recently. The Man With 1000 Kids is about a "man" who decided he needed a purpose in life so he started donating his....fluids...to a sperm bank. And through some twisted and downright confusing paths, he ends up with MANY, MANY, children. Like..a lot. 1,000. Or more. Hence the title.

This 3 episode documentary shows you the perspective and thoughts of a few different families who have had an interaction with the said "man" as they were looking to start families of their own. Each one of these families was lied to, manipulated, and put through some weird sort of hellish nightmare. All they want is to have a baby. To have their own families. One way or another. And this prompts the, let's say antagonist, to step in and feed off of their desperation. To be clear, this is one of those true crime type docuseries but doesn't end in murder or kidnapping or anything of that sort. It's just completely messed up in its own right. I cannot describe how I was feeling throughout the show other than: Confused, agitated, confused again, and shocked.

Jonathan Jacob Meijer decides that he wants to "help" out women who are struggling to start a family on their own. He feels that each time he is donating to clinics (and privately, uuugh) he is performing an action that is worthy of something. This, apparently, gives him his purpose. The guy eventually heads down such a bizarre path that he for some reason cannot stop donating, lying, or fathering children. The families in the show go through a wild ride as they relive what this man has put them through. We see them interviewed and each recalls their stories and experiences. We get to see them show their anger and frustration as well as try to take down this guy. If you're a parent, it gives a little extra sickening feeling of "Oh I would move the hell away from there immediately" and if you're not a parent, I am sure you will still get the "what the f---" reaction as you are probably a normal and sane human being.

Now, at first, this doesn't seem like an issue. "Oh lots of people donate sperm, it can't be that bad, can it?" I get why you would think that. But once you see the deception, once you find out some of the hidden, sneaky things this person has accomplished, you will see that it's more than just trying to help or try to have as many kids as possible for no reason. It's diabolical. It's insane. There are many words I can use to describe it and none of them are good. 

This guy goes to different COUNTRIES to donate. He disguises himself in a YouTube channel to make it look like he's in new and unique places for reasons like crypto or food vlogging, but he's there to further his nonsensical agenda. It seems like MORE than just narcissistic tendencies. It seems like this person is trying to shape a world in his image or something of the sort. I have never said "but why?" so many times while watching a show like this. It's mind-boggling for sure.

If you're into true crime or weird things in general, give this a watch. It's 3 episodes and they're all under an hour each. As I do when watching (let's be real here: bingeing) a show like this, I often feel glad that my interactions with the outside world are limited at best. I prefer to spend my time indulging in books, video games, podcasts, and, of course, Netflix True Crime. I do ponder though, why on Earth there are people like this in the world and how they come to be. Your nice neighbor? Probably a serial sperm donor. Your local milkman? Peeping Tom. Humanity, at its best, is completely strange and messed up and it makes me wonder how much of the Animal Kingdom is the same. Or maybe, actually, I don't want to know. Unless they make it into a 5 part series on a giant streaming platform.

You can find The Man With 1000 Kids on Netflix.

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